u noe wat? i feel some sort of emptiness within me. maybe it is the feeling of a lack of achievement this year. or maybe, it is just tt promos are jus so near n i havent exactly started on anything!

somehow i dont feel a sense of achievement this year. i feel as if i hv wasted the entire year - ok very much less than a year - wif all the useless things i have done, with no exact purpose, with of not much use. i havent done anything great, havent won anything, and definitely nothing impactful. very sadly. and the year seems to have gone past really really quickly! :(

i feel very talentless. i have no talents whatsoever. u noe, sometimes i jus wished tt i had tried out sports when i was young - very young. then maybe i wont have the kind of psychomotor problems that i constantly face. i wonder why sports always play such a key role in everything. i look at ever sport. i dont think i can play a decent thing.

but on another note, maybe the year isnt as bad as it seems after all. for i hv gotten to known many many ppl much much better over the course of this one year. at least i think so. m so lucky really, in this sense.

o well, u mus think i m depressed. but i jus feel really empty. maybe it is my attempt to become more zen.

i think there is too much hate in me. ok, random, but this year, i always go like i hate this person, i detest this person. aiya. there's jus so much hatred in me i guess, or cld it b jus something i say. but i do get very irritated very often.

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Ok forget it, went out to eat today and i met the PRESIDENT'S SCHOLAR!!! haha. i feel so honoured. haha. and of course i asked her if jeanne lim is a good teacher & all she cld reply was tt jeanne's nice! haha. but she conceded tt it was self study in the end. SEE ... i wasnt being rude after all. i was merely stating facts!

i feel very confused. i want to study, but i cant put myself to open my books and start doing so. =(

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Edit:
it's now 12:30. no 1 is online, presumably studying or sleeping. i m stuck here, doing pw. very sad. haha.

anw, had random convos here and there, and as i recount statements on first impressions over the past few weeks as we try to become more philosophical, analyzing, etc, i begin asking jingsong & auyong abt their first impressions of me. and it is qte funny, cos jing song said i was stern-faced, not looking friendly, with a constant frown on my face!!! haha. and tt i hv to smile more. haha. looks like loads of so3w or ppl i met in rj wld jus so beg to differ. haha.

jus a random addition cos i feel bored and tired.

junyi! posted at 7:41 pm.