aha. i m feeling weird right now but that doesnt matter, because as many would say, i am always weird (:

anw, gp prelims has ended and though it remains my favourite subject, i am still glad tt it is over, cos tt means i can focus on all my other subjects. hurrah.

anw this entry is specially dedicated to sinni, otherwise known as snee, whose birthday is today and is angry with me that i have failed to msg her at 12mn today!

ok snee, sorry about that! but but but HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:(:(:(: bestwishes! haha.

and if u r not snee and u see her, u can wish her happy birthday! aha. and if you dont see her, u can msg her to wish her happy birthday!

on another note, happy birthday pek & christine too (:

can u believe that prelims have started? and that you are probably still not even halfway through in ur revision. i dont noe abt u, but it definitely applies for me! yes, i m pretty screwed.

yes, happy birthday snee again. THE one and only (: haha

junyi! posted at 3:48 pm.

i really shldnt be blogging. but i m finding some stats to make my gp presentation complete. haha.

roar. i realised i shldnt b putting too much hope on plaque award. after all i may not get it. it is not that easy to get. but as mr s puts it, when you get it, it will be a good thing. Yea, shld not keep my hopes high. after all, when has rj actually given me something tt i applied for, except experiences, except certain lessons, but every single time i tried getting something, i wasnt given - council, s papers, rp3. time and time again, i always thought i was good enough, only to have been disappointed.

welcome to the real world, ladies and gentlemen.

why apply then? why put in the effort? no it's not tt i m uber free, it's not tt i crave the recognition that will rank me as like the top 20 leaders who have fulfilled the Kouzes-Posner Leadership Challenge Model, it is more of a self-fulfilling exercise, to prove to urself tt wat u have been doing the past year+ has not gone unnoticed, that you are on the right track and that you can and shld go on to do such things in the future. I think really it is how you want it to be noted that you have made a difference. and as for the idea of me having lots of time. that is not true - it is abt presenting urself, it is abt taking pride in every single piece of work that you call urs.

meanwhile i suppose i shld jus concentrate on my studies and when everything comes subsequently, perhaps i shld let everything be a pleasant surprise. things work out better that way.

am i making any sense? i dont think i am. but yea i need to study.

junyi! posted at 10:20 pm.

Ok i havent blogged here in ages, mainly because I have had to write about my life in a personal portfolio in the past 1 week and I was not about to, in the middle of writing about myself in a personal portfolio, write about myself in my blog which is probably read by less people who would be reading my personal portfolio.

my grammar sucks. haha.

anw, i would love to add that one of my biggest accomplishments now include doing the entire personal portfolio! I mean, I THOUGHT it was easy stuff, but I was wrong. Cos the thing jus did not seem good enough, and I had to keep changing and changing. And subsequently make the entire thing look much prettier! (: Spent loads of time doing it, the reflections bit was a little :S cos it did make me feel small about myself at certain points of time. I mean it's TRUE that we WOULD NOT write about the negative things that we did, but as we write down the positive things, we would inevitably be reminded of all the unhappy memories, and all the not-so-good things that we did. You could say I learnt a lot in the writing of this personal portfolio, most notably in marketing myself, and for that I have the loads of friends I have to thank! (: Starting from my daddy who read the first draft till the last draft and kept giving suggestions from the perspective of a potential employer; zul who tolerated with my copying and pasting on msn even as he himself was busy with his pp (which i thought was fantastic and well deserving of an award btw) and gave priceless comments, and a totally invaluable character reference (which i will return in due time haha); navjote who read through almost everything and gave loads and loads of feedback (:; kangkang who read through the ENTIRE personal portfolio over 2 hours and painstakingly corrected my english which in and off itself is already bad enough, but this time round further worsened by writing everything at 2,3am. haha; samjo & many others who gave loads and loads of ideas in me doing this entire pp. and how can i forget, sarala & wong siew hoong for lending credibility to my testimonials haha. o yes, very imptly too, ms dnet yap, for her kind permission to use her photos in my pp and her helping to put all the documents into the pink, clear plastic file that i chose over blue for obvious reasons. haha.

haha and thanks for the compliments & erm reality check for those who saw the pp. but i think madam has to be thanked for being rather supportive all this while - at least seemingly supportive haha. yups tt kinda helps and keeps me going.

haha i jus realised i speak like i have accomplished something great. when all i have done is a personal portfolio. haha. i guess in a sense the whole pp is a good closure to all tt we have done in our 2 years in rj, and spending so much time to complete the whole thing ... whoa.

exams r coming and i m pretty dead. hoping i can put behind all these stuff and jus concentrate on my studies from tomorrow! the class is pretty quiet and my social life is pretty much zilch now. nothing much has been happening. at least nothing worth remembering tt i wld put it up here. life sucks =(

and yes haha i learnt in 3 mins how to airbrush my faaaaaaaaaaace haha to remove tt horrible complexion of mine hahas. how cool is tt. i shall learn more functions of photoshop although my face is so cmi how much photoshop also cannot look good lah haha. at least jus make it less cmi. haha.

yay and in the spirit of paying it forward, as i keep highlighting in my personal portfolio, i shall rmb to write chenwei & zul's testimonials soon (:

junyi! posted at 10:18 pm.

it's been a week since my last entry and i m tired =(

there's just so much work to do, not all academic related, and i intend in the next 24 hours to complete these stuff - 3 more evaluation stuff, application for awards, personal portfolio, testimonial for friends. ROAR. and then look through again my 3 best personal experiences, cv etc again just before i print/upload them. AND i am not even applying for uni this year. =(

it din help with the immense workload, with that very ggxx essay i wrote ytd over a very long period of time (ie a few hours) =( it was extremely bad last night. thou shalt not write essays into the night. blah. i hope i can cover everything in the next 1 month. gp starts in THREE weeks. so yes good luck to me. i need it.

on another note, 3w has shown itself in being able to model its way! (: haha in showing initiative in sitting down during promethean ceremony, we have shown, that we are capable of leading the college to greater heights, haha - the ceremony was able to go on smoothly! o yes national day today was such a waste of time. i shld hv stayed at home and SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. though mrs lim was very nice and she baked muffins, which her son helped out in! haha. o yes but the celebrations otherwise was extremely pathetic, with disjointed performances all over the place! bad organisation over all, din like it a bit. and class party is jus some super cheapskate way tt will cut down the organisation's planning + expenditure. hmph. i mean it is a NATIONAL DAY CELBRATIONS concert. nv saw a semblance of national day at all, ok the dancers in some item wore some stars on their costume but tt's about it. maybe one of them is prosperity, the other is justice or something like that.

o whatever the case is, congrats to the jcdcs team for their win on sat (: very pleased indeed. tho what is cause for displeasure is the absolute lack of support. esp the councillors! ok i m sorry, the excuses never did work for me. but yea. the support was like ... the kind i got for acjc intercols! i mean acceptable for small scale finals, but a NATIONAL FINALS?! come on council surely they can do better than that. it's sad isnt it, when the only supporters there r seniors? but the truth is i cant b bothered so yar though it's very good that they have won (:

aiya sian. back to writing my evaluations. i hate this. y cant i b left alone!!!

junyi! posted at 2:49 pm.

ok chang was sharing with me something very inspiring that she just read. and i thought the views were interesting enough to be put up (:

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junyi. says:
wat's wrong with loving someone
! says:
because see, i am not going to use my own examples, obviously, its too like personal and all, but with _________ case
! says:
she is wasting the purity of her heart on someone who doesn't receiprocate
! says:
and even if he does, he doesn't show it, and that means that he isn't going to cherish what she's giving up
! says:
there's nothing wrong with loving someone, what's wrong is when you get involved with something you aren't ready for. and being ready for soemthing, means that first, the other person must be wiling to respect yuo and be ready for it too. and second you have to have a level of commitment

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on another note, i hv never been so angry in such a long time! gosh i just cannot believe the level of shamelessness, audicity and absolute uselessness of a certain individual. THE HORRORS really. and in addition to it really, is how the teachers r blind too!

and byebye cambridge. at least i noe i wont get college endorsement. tt's sad =( sigh. i gotta work really really hard. yea tt made ytd a really depressing day. stupid talks. maybe i shld stop going for them. cos maybe i m still not ready for the real world. and maybe it wld b better for me to keep dreaming.

but i m still going to succeed in life. in one way or another really.

one depressing day, the other an angry day. i hope 2mr will b a happy day.

junyi! posted at 10:59 pm.