ROAR.

bad day. tho i did a LITTLE studying (not enough, no 8 hours =() i jus saw an absolutely infuriating email.

but i shall b zen and collected. and refrain from bitching.

on zen. i m very angry because because i realise it isnt my earphones tt is spoilt. BUT THE ENTIRE dkjlfasdljas;f ZEN MICRO!!

it means no music this holidays =( =(

and pm lee wore a pink shirt for his swearing in! hahahaha. he is a metro man.

ok sorry this is a kaslfdj;saljkf entry. i dont noe wat to say. the worse thing abt this hols is many of my relatively long-time frens hv bdays in this month! and i m grounded! WEEPS.

hai. sorry.

junyi! posted at 12:11 am.

say you study only for 20 days (considering weekend breaks), and study a grand total of 8 hours each day, you will have 160 hours in total.

and then u take 4 subjects. and if each subject has an average of 20 topics (some like econs only have 4 but each topic is huge), then u have 80 topics to cover.

that leaves one with 2 hours to cover one topic.

that is provided u study for 8 hours a day and over 20 days and absorb every topic so there is no need to go back again to other topics.

and if u alr r going for holiday tt means no weekend break for u too.

and if it is 2 hours per topic, then it also means tt the only time left u have to do practice qns is in the other 10 days left from the holidays.

which means in actual fact we seem like we have a lot of time. but tt's not true.

good luck. and ggxx.

junyi! posted at 4:48 pm.

i'm pretty scared.

no more excuses. and i desperately want to do well this time round. if anything, i want to prove to myself that i am not THAT stupid. and so this time round, i really hope i can do better. that i can get the results that i want.

anw the week / term ended with u14 finals. it was a good experience really though frankly speaking i wasnt like ms u hu enjoyed the light-heartedness of the whole thing. thought several stuff wasnt really up to standards. but they were pretty much my fault anw. things jus nv can get perfect for me, so i can only hope that the audience enjoyed the debate, the food and all.

the debate itself was a rather good one, though i thought it was qte obvious at the end of it which team performed better. first time judging finals was rather cool, judging with a lot of rather pro adjudicators. haha. it's like i m the most noob lah. but it was cool and several issues were rightly debated, and it's qte funny how shang and i both shared similar styles for our clothes haha.

and i broke the challege shield =( but it's fine i think the physics of the whole thing is rather screwed cos the front is heavier than the back ... and as the team rightly pointed out, the watching of a shield tumbling down the stairs will b one of the cannot-be-missed moments in the debating circuit of Singapore. haha.

in many ways, j2 just seems so much more different, and i was just keying in the cca records. 3 competitions later, judging 3 competitions too, i dont noe, i feel like everything seems so surreal right from the beginning. how did i even start debating even? i have already told myself that i probably will not stop debating. but sometimes it's not up to me is it?

everything seems to have ended. it is supposed to. and in a sense it has. but then ppl still ask for favours of sorts and it just doesnt stop. it's not that i mind.

it's just that at the end of the 2 years, my biggest regret is that i havent done anything special, anything different from what i normally do - academic related perhaps (not tt i m intellectually able to do them) or go on courses, or seminars or maybe overseas trips. sigh. but now it's over so it's jus regrets now. what can i do abt it.

it's qte funny for us to go pay a visit at the staffroom at 1030 last night and shang and i ended up bumping into ms chen and scaring her cos she decided to sleep in the staffroom for the night. so we started telling her ghost stories. haha.

gp common test was ok. hope i did fine. and yay badminton & hockey both won gold! haha. i wld blog abt our begging of y2k to release us for chem. but i m not in the mood now. so another time!

junyi! posted at 2:46 pm.

wah i think there's something seriously wrong with me, having annoyed ppl so much and having get worked up over things that perhaps on 2nd thoughts is kinda over-reacting ... i dont noe. there must be something wrong.

so yea sorry to everyone out there.

but nonetheless. i hope i m sane now. i hope i m normal. tho many wld say i hv never been normal. hahas. but yea dont u think sometimes everyone behaves so weirdly tt u r the only sane one? =D

ytd was an injury prone day because i was so active in soccer haha. i got stepped on the foot while trying to randomly kick the ball away and then i got smacked in the face by the ball! see. that happens when u become too active in physical education class. =D wah and siva laughed at me when the ball got smacked into my face!

ptm on sat happened to b the most useless thing on earth. i mean if a teacher wants to tell u something cant he/she tell it to u straight to ur face? i can understand if ptms are meant to inform parents of ur progress, but i am immensely perturbed when a teacher chooses to tell parents what she/he thinks of u and refuse to say it right into your face. because, in telling parents without telling the parents, it jus shows they are afraid to tell u what they think of u isnt it?

but nonetheless. it is stupid if they choose to tell parents stuff and not tell the kid stuff. because does that mean to say tt if ur parent chooses not to go, u lose out? because there r just some things they ONLY tell ur parents.

u14 is coming to an end soon. it hasnt been immensely taxing. and i mus say to the credit of immensely capable i/cs. the one thing i hate abt judging is tt i can never b sure of myself. and tt's wat debating is all about isnt it. there is no right or wrong. and the worse thing? always a winner and a loser. and wah ppl cry summore. =(

gp cts 2mr. ggxx. wish me luck. i hope i get an a. like finally an a.

junyi! posted at 3:37 pm.

how do i explain that it's not my fault, that it has never been my fault?

have been in a ksaldfj;al mood again. but i guess there's hardly anything i can do about it. that everything is not in my control.

ultimately i m a horrible and lousy person, since it's what people think that matters at the end of the day. since then ppl will jus tell another what he/she thinks and then the other will think the same way and the whole world will think the same way too.

so i shld just distance myself from the world and be a hermit.

--------------------------

but o well on another note went for basketball girls finals who were absolutely great. judged and worked on u14 which i hope wasnt tt much of a failure. went rugby finals too and i guess it was really a case of very bad luck on their part and i do hope they get over it. it must have been really painful, but they did their best. and that's all that matters i supposed. talking to them, interacting with them, i do qte feel for them as you hear them either trying to put on a very brave facade or choking with emotions.

but that's life.

o and i watched mi3 last fri.

random stuff and all. it hasnt exactly been the most fantastic of weeks. ytd was an ok day and we celebrated jon's bday. then later at night it became dajsklfj so i cldnt really concentrate. days before were either sad days or sian day.

whatever it is, life goes on.

sigh.

junyi! posted at 12:00 pm.

how do i explain that it's not my fault, that it has never been my fault?

have been in a ksaldfj;al mood again. but i guess there's hardly anything i can do about it. that everything is not in my control.

ultimately i m a horrible and lousy person, since it's what people think that matters at the end of the day. since then ppl will jus tell another what he/she thinks and then the other will think the same way and the whole world will think the same way too.

so i shld just distance myself from the world and be a hermit.

--------------------------

but o well on another note went for basketball girls finals who were absolutely great. judged and worked on u14 which i hope wasnt tt much of a failure. went rugby finals too and i guess it was really a case of very bad luck on their part and i do hope they get over it. it must have been really painful, but they did their best. and that's all that matters i supposed. talking to them, interacting with them, i do qte feel for them as you hear them either trying to put on a very brave facade or choking with emotions.

but that's life.

o and i watched mi3 last fri.

random stuff and all. it hasnt exactly been the most fantastic of weeks. ytd was an ok day and we celebrated jon's bday. then later at night it became dajsklfj so i cldnt really concentrate. days before were either sad days or sian day.

whatever it is, life goes on.

sigh.

junyi! posted at 12:00 pm.

in more ways than one, i m hoping for things to happen. i hope things will start changing.

anw was looking thru the papers and found this rather funny.

"My life is like a Hollywood blockbuster - every year, every event, it is either an adaptation, remake or sequel to something of the past"

Hai. The results for CTs came out so long ago but i just showed my dad my results and no surprises whatsoever - scolding, grounding what not. It is depressing really these results, and i guess i m deserving of such punishments. tho cts1 was so long ago, the very reminder of the results again for some reason has got me more upset than before, perhaps because more time has been spent thinking abt it, catalysed by rather strong words by people in my family.

and so cts2 is coming as well. and i do hope i do better this time. really really. i havent done well at all in rj ever and i m beginning to question whether it's cos i m stupid and olevels and psle were jus super easy, or if i m jus lazy, or if i have jus been unlucky. and i jus hope that i can prove myself. soon. at a levels. but sooner than that.

so i have been grounded. and now continue searching for excuses. but i suppose wat jonk said is qte rite. one day i m going to run out of excuses. and i guess i shall just wait for that day to come. meanwhile this just means tt i cant go out - not like i have anw, and i dont really understand it cos my poor results r never because i have been going out too much. how many movies do i watch a month? how many times do i actually detour from my usual route of home-school? how often do i even go out on weekends.

i realised i have been grounded all my life anyway. i m running out of excuses so i can no longer go out at night. afternoon excuses r easier to come up with. i m sorry i m such a big liar. lying is morally wrong.

but argh. in many ways i m really frustrated with myself. and in many ways, at many points of time i just dont understand what's happening ard me. so then the outlet of expression comes thru being mean to others, thru saying things that wld so obviously piss ppl off. and. so i apologise if i have in the past week been a prick and offended your sensibilities. any1 of u anyway.

but y apologise anw? cos somehow i know that i am going to do it again and then apologise again. apologies normally constitute the fact tt u know u r in the wrong and tt you will not do it again isn't it.

aiya. i m not thinking straight. i m a retard.

junyi! posted at 8:45 pm.

looks like the quiet pap supporters got the victory this time round. people are wrong abt chiam not being to win this election and low retained his seat in hougang. sylvia shld b an ncmp. and there you have it, 2006 elections - with its fair share of controversies, not too many issues debated. a stronger, more prepared opposition with a better showing. aljunied especially. and amk did not get the 80% that boonheng wanted. LOL.

Hopefully this means more debates in the coming 5 years and that the opposition will continue to work hard and give people a choice - in bishan toapayoh esp!

82 seats for pap. 2 for opposition. not many changes. 66.6% of valid votes to the pap. supposedly a good showing.

anw, back from dance night and it was, i must say a very amusing day from the start, haha. I BOUGHT FAKE FLOWERS CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! haha. yeah, in a rush i grabbed a bunch of plastic flowers i thought was really nice and spent a sum of them. BUT i did manage to give them away. and er i hope they like it. IT DOES NOT LACK SINCERITY! it was an honest mistake (i hope i don't need to give a thorough explanation, and that it does not lack integrity. it was it truly was). anw on the bright side, you get to keep plastic flowers forever. haha. but i bought roses (REAL!) too, so proud of myself haha. and i had to chop them myself. was such a noob lah. BUT at 3 tries i managed to chop the parts i wanted gone. with minimal embarassment. =)

but i ended up overbuying flowers lah. cos they sold them in dozens, so I didnt have so many friends. so some got 2 flowers, some got one. i hope they all liked it anw, haha. as much as i enjoyed dance night.

so yes, i ended up late for meeting shang, suhas & ajit. buying more stuff and buying grabbable dinner and stuff for zul, before rushing into a cab asking if the cab driver has voted. haha. we managed to reach the place ON TIME! =D and yes tsk dani for not telling suhas the truth!

but the place is freaking hot lah. i brought a jacket and wore long sleeves cos i thought it wld b freezing. BUT it was so hot lah. very warm. and it din help tt everyone else was so hot. haha. emcees were mediocre, at times funny, but not spectacular. sometimes lacking energy too. i lost my program. can i have a new one!

anw on the dances itself. the order was good. really, it has made the entire program very sleek and entertaining, with a broad audience appeal. the entire thing was rather fast paced so it really din seem like 2 hrs have passed. Thought it was better than last year's one. Though i cannot really comment since i m not this expert. but i must say i enjoyed myself more this year. obviously knowing more ppl this time round did help. so there. liked the opening number, liked the latin too, liked the symbolic dances, chinese dance was amusing, hip hop, jazz all cool. dont suppose i did remember much with regards to the dances maybe cos i was busy people spotting. but it was an enjoyable, entertaining night of beauty (not really eternal or everlasting tho haha).

nice job alan on the video haha. and then zhu was like the star lah for all the chinese dances. qte a few stars lah but i shall just mention her. haha. i like the together song. whee. was singing it randomly as i had to wait for ppl to descend from the top. so many ppl were crowding around them! wah they are all like famous stars.

anw so the curtains have closed and for many of them it may very well be their last performance. o well. like many things in life, you prepare for such a long time, practise extremely hard all for just 2 hours, sometimes more, sometimes less. but all things will have to come to an end i suppose.

and then it's time to let go.

o well. i do hope the performers did have fun. aiya dont need to hope lah, they did have fun, maybe not dancing but with the company.

just like what suhas said as we were talking about continuing debating in the future. we realised tt it's not debating we missed, it is debating together as a team.

an entry filled with random thoughts put together. the coming week is going to b study study study =(

junyi! posted at 12:59 am.

my maiden trip to a rally - i mean like for real, not those stay for 10 mins and get irritated kind. i was really listening and stayed for THREE hours listening to speeches. haha. i think everyone has to go to a rally at least once. soak in the atmosphere. the opposition ones to really feel it (apparently more so for WP) and if the crowds today are anything to go by, i believe WP has a high chance of winning.

but, as the papers put it, we cannot ignore the often "silent pap supporters" who will end up making the more than 50% that puts the pap team in parliament. this entire elections i guess has been filled with a couple of incidents that dominated the headlines of the papers and immersing myself in the sights and sounds of the entire wp rally at serangoon stadium, i must say i nv expected the crowd to b this huge (my dad's fren - a police chief estimated the crowd to be 30000 in a venue meant for 12500) and the support was just WOW. I would put up pictures, cept i m too tired to upload them. and technically this entry i think is illegal. so putting pictures would make it more illegal as well. But u hear them speak, i must say they have the power to communicate. few of them, but i suppose that is all the matters. gomez esp was very sharp in pointing out the neglecting of the needs of the young adults, goh mengseng on the need to not fear votes being traced, sylvia & low thiakiang gave a good summary of the entire campaign, the issues played out and i believe they did a rather good job in tugging the heartstrings of people in the audience.

one day, i hope to be able to address a crowd like this. with responses so cohesive. with so much support. i mean people in the audience were going around praising the candidates and convincing me to vote wp though i told them i wasnt of age!

which means if those people at the rally have their way, george and his team may very well not get into power in this elections. which is a pity then really, cos yes i agree with hl about the capabilities of his team. no doubt about that. but given the strength of the opposition team (not necessarily stronger, but strong nonetheless), and the many mistakes made by the pap team, based on those mistakes the wp deserves the 5 seats if they win it.

it is true that the gomez issue may be a big thing. but even if the wp decided to make it a wayang, strategised to do so, then i must say the pap committed serious mistakes in falling into their trap. a baseless assumption though this is. Whether the gomez incident was intended or not, in making a huge outcry out of the entire incident, the pap has definitely caused themselves an uphill battle against the wp.

1. many people relate to the gomez issue. at one point of time, we have made an innocent mistake like this. on blogs, you read and hear about analogies - not shoftlifing but more of a simple misunderstanding between perhaps a salesman and his customer or even a student and a teacher. in being able to relate to the incident, the people will feel that (a) they themselves are being told that having committed similar kinds of errors before, they lack integrity and credibility. and (b) obviously believe that the pap is overdoing it.

2. Even if the people do not relate to it and believe he lacks the credibility. these people are often the ones who follow politics and sincerely want to find out what lies ahead in the future. in spending too much time on the gomez issue, and therefore encouraging the media to play it up, the media and the pap cannot focus on real issues that will affect the lives of the people in the next 5 years. From the engaging of the young adults, as interestingly, gomez himself pointed today, to questions about policies implemented. questions about transport fees and gst. they failed to engage in this issues. In so doing, it will irritate the people even if they question the integrity of gomez.

This will inherently irritate the people and will lose them the votes they need and this is further exacerbated by:

3. The kind of politics that they have used. name calling, poor usage of analogies, "politics of distraction" as wp puts it. It is ok if the opposition wants to use it. As the underdogs, people don't quite mind them, laugh along and cheer with them. But when you compare others to animals and thieves and consistently insult the parties / candidates' characters. You will be seen as complacent, which really puts the heartlanders off. And wp was a good opposition in being able to point it out and not commit the same mistake. and to harp on chiam's age consistently? is that an issue too? too many times has the pap tried to do it, francis seow and tang liang hong. cheesoonjuan. This time round, people are more educated i suppose and they know how it works.

4. In addition, using the same carrot approach. it just pisses people off as well. And once again, the opposition managed to ride on nationalistic pride to denounce such a selfish move. 80 million in potong pasir, about the same in hougang? where do they get the money? If the opposition is not contesting in my grc, is this y i hear no plans of my grc being upgraded. starting from my house, sheltered walkways? and my school? how many students have to walk in the sweltering heat or pouring rain to get to the nearest mrt?

the opposition has been smart this time round. undoubtedly more prepared, they know the ground better and has had strong arguments. They can connect. But the pap must be able to move away from all they have been used to in the past and be prepared to share real plans and policies. Make real, tangible promises.

Undoubtedly, the pap has good candidates and it will be a pity to see george and his team leave just like that. a bunch of good people they really are. based on their great track record, i say keep them. i dont necessarily agree with all the wp has said as well. but based on these unforgivable mistakes?

Mr Lee says: "What is the opposition's job? It's not to help the PAP do a better job ... because if they help the PAP do a better job, you're going to vote for me again and they're going to be out of a job for a long time. So their job is to make life miserable for me.

"Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?"

Gosh. This comment on fixing the opposition was totally off.

Ultimately it is up to the people to decide i suppose.

This proved to be a really interesting trip to the rally and it is rather cool to see people actually interested. though no real issues were brought up since it was the last night and the leaders were more of summing up the issues of the entire campaigning. haha.

"I saw a bunch of people in rjc uniform sitting at the side taking notes. Wah maybe they taking note of the points they need to address if they want to become a minister next time." overheard from a member of the public. lol. WASNT ME. i was in the thick of action. haha.

junyi! posted at 1:02 am.

my ct wrote in my results slip that my results are DISAPPOINTING. skdfj;laskjdf;kajsf;dlkjas;fja;lsdjf

HAI. ok lah granted it is but u can't write that in my results slip! and sucks lah. now i noe at least i m one of the dumbest guy in school.

WEEPS.

the extra-curricular work i have been doing is on-off. i need to FOCUS like seriously. and like study harder, earlier and more diligently.

or i just need to be smarter.

nvm lah. feel qte bad tt i told donna i wld go support her finals but ended up having a meeting =(. And then so many ppl's concerts i din go as well. so feel pretty bad given tt this is one of the last few things many ppl will take part in and i din exactly go and support them.

so it's qte horrible.

anw, this is the 200th post. nv thought i wld reach this far. and sorry liy, i will put the pics up once i upload them! and thanks dnet & lesbo lim for the rather hilarious + apt and random choice of presents. haha.

junyi! posted at 8:43 pm.