i am in a phase where i feel like i am not doing anything useful in my life, that i am wasting the 2 years away. mr pc calls it emptiness. i am inclined to agree. i mean, so much for carpe diem , for making the best of your ns life and to pick up something new. it's not like i didnt try. but i think after some time, you just get jaded, disillusioned, and realise, understand that you are not in any position to be the change, to do good. maybe it's that there are peers ahead of you, in a better position to do things. maybe it's the lack of a love life. maybe after trying for so long to get gold for ippt and almost killing yourself in the process, and then missing the mark by 4 seconds, you are just tired. maybe you're just sore.

alan tells me it's a phase. perhaps it is and after some time that emptiness will be filled by many activities. so right now i have finished the editorial production of a book - it's a book my dad published really and which i am helping out so you can buy a copy. it's really cheap! haha. AND it has already been published so that's pretty exciting. and i have also joined the adjudicating staff for this year's jc debate nationals. which i have found to be rather self-gratifying actually. to finally be in a position to help others improve themselves, to actually contribute to something i actually enjoy. call me weird, power-hungry, whatever, but that's the way things are i guess. it's deprivation from having a choice i think. i am thinking of picking up a new language and driving, but i think i'm a lil scared of failing, and i am very much a procrastinator.

i received 3 birthday presents already! so hurray. and thanks chang, suhas, jonk and my grandma for those wonderful presents.

dinner today with sj, alan, jonk and zee was good, and incredibly funny. apparently we have a name now and given the things that we were discussing, you would have thought we were drunk.

i think i am way too tired. too much thinking for the first time in the past year. must be. which explains why i am typing paragraphs with few sentences.

but i shall end of with some quotes of the week:
"we eat c_ p_____s for breakfast"
"YOU GUYS DONT HAVE SHOWER DOORS! YOU MEAN YOU HAVE BEEN BATHING WITHOUT TOILET DOORS FOR THE pAST ONE AND A HALF YEAR. HOW DID YOU SURVIVE" gasps, hands on face. in absolute shoc
"Arent you a little old for this"
"We shld all go bintan since we all have the bods. or the breasts" the word we was in reference to guys.
"waste my time. nabei."
"publications and porn"


ok without the context they all seem a little weird, maybe even unfunny. but whatever, deal with it.

junyi! posted at 12:32 am.