it sucks because it just does. i dont noe what kind of feeling i m having now - despair, anger, dissappointment ... whatever. it's just that after i have pinned so much hope on certain subjects this time round, i m not improving, in fact regressing. i dont noe what else needs to be done, i mean i dont have control over the fact that the gp marker is stupid. and it sucks to walk out of the examination hall with full confidence of doing reasonably well and yet all you get after a week is a lack of total confidence for a levels with regards to the subject you have worked your ass off.

what else is there to be done? i guess loads. maybe it's an indication that i have not been working hard enough. and so i shall. it's not like me to be defeatist, but academically i think i have become stupider ever since i came to jc. it sucks to be below average because i just dont like it, whereever it is.

i just hope that after infinite times of saying the next one will be better, it will count where it matters - the final lap. i dont noe what else to expect from econs. after one disappointment after another, i think i cant expect too much anymore.

what's left will be the mock exams and the a levels. and i hope this one last time i can do better. AND the cambridge gp markers are smarter. (i noe i sound qte bitter about gp but i must stress that i have NEVER in my entire life failed a freaking essay and that just because we disagree in the the interpretations of the qn does not mean that it warrants a freaking fail.)

many thanks to sinni (: for the happy package, navjote, zul, dnet, kangs & everyone who cheered me up (: AND i hv zhu's criteria for her future life partner!!! haha i will advertise abt it one day.

junyi! posted at 11:12 pm.