over the past 8 years or so, the thought of quitting debating for good has crossed my mind. because after winning once, you dont want to go down. you want to keep winning or at least do well enough. for some reason or another, i keep staying, and am now kinda resigned to my absolute lack of achievements the past few years. with the most recent one known a couple of hours ago. perhaps that will happen in a couple of years time, but i am hoping meanwhile, that something good comes out of it while i am in it.

so i was reminded by nash that i havent been updating my blog, it's just that so much is happening and i havent found the time to want to write an entry. but i guess it would be good to chronicle my uni life once in a while so i dont forget the little stuff when i turn old and nostalgic haha. oh i had such grand plans, to create a new blog to mark another phase, since this obviously isnt a cray-immoortal anymore. but oh well, apt name or not, i guess i shall just make do with this for the time being. hell, most of my friends dont even blog anymore!

they say that after a certain age, time seems to fly past you. it used to be only you are having fun. but now, even as i havent had time to have fun and have spent all my time working on stuff or mugging the weeks seem to fly so quickly! Is it really the age thing? Or maybe subconsciously law school has become fun for me? haha i really doubt the latter. not that the former carries much truth though. oh well. so what happened since the last post - there was rag, and then there was school. which in essence sums up the past one month.

rag was an interesting experience, to say the very least. i know i say that about most things. but i guess when you get yourself into things you seldom go away calling it a horrible experience since you always want to tell yourself that you have made the right choice. but the thing is it really wasnt that bad and i personally am amazed at how much i could do! that i actually contributed to that mother big thing that was sewn on stitch by stitch, transported to kent ridge on the most memorable roadtrip i have ever taken (no shit, with tons of foul words and cries for help haha). I didn't actually think i would be able to contribute much to begin with, or have what it takes to commit much. but i guess army has trained me well to follow instructions and do menial stuff. never mind that other floats were very much nicer, i think once you're in something you got to give it all your support and appreciate the efforts of the team. there were of course those very snide comments being passed by people who obviously have loads of confidence in what they do (to make up for the lack of eq) to say what they did, but i guess i am pass caring and have ranted enough about it to comment further. i mean you cant expect law to have just nice people. there needs to exist some kind of balance. i'm not surprised though, since background work is always looked upon with contempt.

and it's now the 3rd week of school, and there has already been so much readings, so much work! i cant say i am having a culture shock, i'm not very surprised to be honest, but it still is one thing to hear and expect it, and another to be immersed in this workload and mugging people. but oh well, to be back in school again! it feels a little good, but still i must complain about the workload.

so i start this semester still feeling that everything that's happening to me is a lil surreal. the knocks are coming and i am getting all my insecurities, fearful that i will become mediocre, will stagnate, will lose all interest in my studies. perhaps this is just my paranoia. perhaps it isnt. only time can tell and i can only hope that time wont be my worst enemy.

junyi! posted at 12:28 am.