i thought it's perhaps time to write something about lcamp2010, if anything to write something so years from now I can have something to look at, to remember, when i start forgetting, when i want to get in touch with how i felt immediately or in close aftermath of the camp.

already i'm starting to forget - but perhaps what I will never forget is the stress level, the smiles, the talking, the intense amount of paperwork. it's interesting really, how people have talked so much about my experience and all, but this is the first time i actually ran a camp, the first time i'm like in the chair. it's quite different i think. when youre vice you check back on everything, you don't actually face the pressure of having to make the decisions, you support more than do, and you can choose to focus on things you actually like (even though it's delegated to you but you still get to choose). in the chair, you need to be involved in everything, but then that could be because i like to be involved in everything, i want to know exactly what's going on. which doesnt bode well for my stress level i guess. haha.

well. what a journey it has been. it all started with being rejected as focc chair (haha yes i shall still harp on it), and then trying to figure out what i really wanted to do, knowing there are some things that i wanted to be involved in, but never thinking i would actually end up being the chair for the camp. and then i was asked. to join focc, but not knowing what yn wanted me to do so i settled for what i thought i have always been good at. applying to be his vice. and then people started asking me to consider being the chair for law camp. and zul reminded me that i have been vice for too long.

aside from the random moments where i felt like i was sinking, i dont think i would have settled for vice after all, although undoubtedly focc vice's of a higher rank and everything. but with lcamp it was way more awesome in terms of creative direction and all. and i guess as a sucker for work and stress, it was prob all for the best. haha yn i think at this point of time would say, "i told you so" - i rmb the teleconversation with him when yk got with jr and i complained that vices get the action and the benefits and he pointed out well i'm sure you'll have more fun with law camp. haha guess he's right.

looking at all the photos, i really miss it now. i still think of how some things didnt materialise. but am really glad with how some things turned out, and the many surprises along the way. so i guess rather than continue regretting, perhaps it would be better to remember the best of things, and move on. no one's going to remember the team that created the memories, much less the chair, but perhaps we all owe it to ourselves to remember these beautiful memories we have created for ourselves. for who are we, if not for what we have done, and what we remember?

okay enough cheesy lines - some fantastic memories, some not so fantastic but still memorable, some stressful moments

- filming. oh detective jun. what a blast it has been haha. that was one hell of a stressful 2 weeks, packing everything together post exams and filming in between 2 dry runs. but still detective jun was so fun. haha got to unleash my inner geek, be more irritating than i already am (and you wouldnt think of it as possible), write one part of the storyline, play a judge, create a story. haha if i wasnt the chair i would have joined storyline i think. and i thank kurosaki for helping me fulfill this dream. haha. oh the indulgence. and the tension on the set. but acting's always pretty fun. and detective jin was an awesome partner to work with. haha i'm sure if there was best chemistry we would have won it. haha 3rd storyline, and my favourite character so far. though i won't say it and pretend to hate it. but well, that was fun.

- night court. haha i'm going to have to watch the video again but it was quite funny creating a tense character for myself to make the already tense mood more intense. snapping at people, frowning etc. part of it was an act, part of it was just unleashing what i would have normally kept within me. but it was interesting how people reacted to it - bitching behind your backs, apologising profusely. ah and the shouting. oh dear. i think i am a bad person. i actually enjoy these!

- the tense moments. ah. unfortunately the down side of the job, although i think the sadomasochistic tendencies in me actually enjoyed that. walking around. asking for answers, looking busy. i think there was a point of time when everything was running smoothly and i felt so bored standing around eating my nasi lemak. the down side i guess is that at the actual fun moments, i couldnt enjoy them. ah like the old cliches go, you cannot have your cake and eat it.

- getting sick. horrid horrid. and then i just locked myself in my room. thinking how everything is going to end. relieved, sick, tired and sick. i think i needed that though. that quiet moment. and perhaps that would explain why i wasnt as emotional as i thought i would have been at the closing.

- ah speaking of closing then. a little bad blood here and there, people pulling out of performances (and hosting - though that was of no fault of theirs). the transport company pulling out. makes you remember why they say to always have black and white and the existence of lawyers helping to ensure world peace. i digress. but i'm truly amazed that we actually pulled it off! not much rehearsals, a lot of last minute decisions, which i had hoped need not have been made. but wow. i really wished i had more time to work on everything, but i think of all the ceremony-ish stuff i have planned. this actually came out the best. next stop. ndp. haha i jest. but i hope one day, i'll really be able to pull something like this (10 times the scale) off again. although all credit has to go to zul & james this time round.

- still on closing. i'm never going to forget how yn flashed the CV on screen. that moment where i wasnt even paying attention to his speech and instinctively turned to clap! oh boy oh boy. indulgent.

- but i really liked how the year 2s came out at the end. would have liked it done in a more orderly fashion. and give credit to everyone. till now i still regret not thanking the subcomm ics, so irks to that. but i'm going to remember the walkin and i really loved the ending. many thanks to zul & the band for agreeing to my indulgences. my speech sucked btw haha. should have prepared it better.

- and many other random memories - the knocking of doors, late night chitchat. i regret not getting to know the ogls much better though. guess everyone was always too tired and loved their og more haha.

sigh i miss it. but it's time to move on i guess. next up lsc. and i dedicate this post to yongneng, who i got to know through this camp, and had enough courage to put me in charge. and hence provided me with such fantastic memories, ahhh and power.

and also to everyone else who made law camp possible - the comm, the councillors, the ogls, focc, year 1s etc.

what an eventful semester. and i'm just pretty thankful that everything is working out fine.

junyi! posted at 12:24 am.