This entire week has been thought provoking, to say the least, and tt kinda made studying ever so distracting. and today's conversation with zul made me realise how long i have not had a good chat with those around me. And perhaps after just ranting, just talking non stop (ok i accept tt i do tt qte a bit, but most of the time rubbish) for a while, you do indeed feel better.

i think i underestimate the things ppl around me do that can affect me. quite a bit.

anyway, usual ramblings go on - just decided to blog today cos i feel expressive and colourful, haha. it's a weird feeling, and it just means tt i feel like talking more than ever. and to many ppl - esp the girls in 3w who never fail to voice it out, it will cause turmoil in the world. haha. LUCKILY i m home. haha. and luckily i din feel this way in school this morning. ok maybe i did. but the cold glares by the lecturer kinda deterred me - slightly. such that it was enought to make it at the normal amount tt would come out from my mouth.

Have you wondered why you go to school then? to talk? haha. it's true i guess, school is just such a wonderful excuse to get out and to talk. ok i m sorry if you e dont feel the same way but if u have been grounded for 093287450329 days and half ur life-time, then perhaps tt will be how you think.

on the bright side, leslie wld support my staying at home cos tt encourages family bonding. haha.

but seriously, do you ever wonder if you have spent too little time with your family? What does it mean to you anyway? will you do ANYTHING to protect your family? Going out with your family or staying with home with them, do you enjoy these trips? Or would you rather go out with your friends. Sometimes, we take our families for granted. but sometimes, dont you just blame them for the way you turn out? I do i guess. Afterall, the past 18 years, how much of that was controlled by me. Are parents your guiding light to what matters and what's important or are they the ones behind a remote control ... that controls you?

whatever it is, i guess when the time comes, when we get to think for ourselves - to start being the one behind the remote control that controls us, it will be the time we will start appreciating them.

Just my random thoughts.

June happens to be a month of birthdays for many of my "older friends", those tt i got to know in secondary school. and the fact i m grounded means i cant do much i suppose, but i hope they all have a good birthday. whenever i can i will try to get out and do something. and thinking back, writing cards, it brings back thoughts and memories i suppose. from the sec 1 days, to the debating days, to where we are, who we are.

i remember in sec 2 how i was hated by a group tt ended up being good frens with me now. over what i really cannot recall. but i do remember they really hated me then. haha. i rmb jonk's stuttering, samjo's outbursts, nash constant beating up of bryon and his dressing up as a monk, the quarrels over projectwork (they called it mdp then isnt it?)! (yes, such competitive freaks we were! and we werent even in the same group! we were competing to see how good our projects were! lol). and yes noticeboard - the amt of focus we placed on it! to think of it, wat the hell did ri give us so many noticeboards for?! we even had an opening ceremony for it! lol lol. such idealists we were. and i do remember all the dramas we went through, ms kelly's lessons, and our making fun of hoonhoon. 9-11 was then too wasnt it? And we had an american teacher. there was the making fun of teachers' costumes - how ms kelly had her favourite sunday dress; mdm cheah n her outer siberia threats; henghuijoo's constant complains on how she cant find a guy who matches her wat 50 criteria? (glad she found him - licia's uncle haha); ROSEMARY the cleaner!, nhh n her fantasies – and desire for a child of course.

things have changed. they definitely have. come to think of it, i miss my class. it's one of the few classes i really enjoyed being in. it was diverse, but we kinda changed havent we. we all did. everything on hindsight seems so childish, so immature, but it seems so fun. haha.

and 2a started all these planning stuff tt i kinda so choose to undertake subsequently. you could say it moulded me. planning nizar's party then ... and then class outing, and there was there was this model class award thing. haha. exchanging of notes too. we were kiasu. and i ended up doing qte badly. but tt's besides the point. haha. but house kept us close together i guess, 2a dudes formed 3/4 the house comm in moor, and as ben cai puts it i think - moor hse comm party = 2a party + 3 or so 2f ppl. haha.

and i remember those debating days. debate camp - how we refused to sleep and kept talking being the noob debaters that we were - and consistently getting scolded then, how we had to endure 3 rounds of debates as newbies and then give hopelessly silly points tt caused us to get scolded. and the "torture" games we went through aimed at making us think faster and on the feet. and then suhas n i were put in the same team. i recall too tt i was the last among the 4 to be put in, replacing terence. and varun din make me forget that did he - "you speak like a robot, you deliver what chens gives you and don't forget you are a replacement". haha ok that last sentence just came to me suddenly. it's amazing my memory, it has a mind of its own! in the very first round the old ones seemed so confident of winning, we were hearing suhas' irish jokes before round one! suhas and i din really noe what we were supposed to do, so ended up preparing loads of stuff (that we found out the old ones never came to read it in the end) and we were made to arrange tables, fetch water and carry bags. so the old ones cld swagger in and look cool. haha. and those anal facial expressions our juniors see so often when they debate now? those started with round 1 in 2003, aimed at nerving those mg debaters. haha. and so we lost - it was abt hollywood i recall. it was upsetting, came back to win the next round, only to lose the last. agst cat high? on televised trials. o i remembered how they arranged a debate agst rj power team, only to realise half the team cant make it and i had to speak. so did suhas. haha. it was qte scary. and the classic. rosie smith lambasting us in the middle of some school in front of the whole debating circuit of sec schools over some very trivial matter - over benuel's accusation tt the rg girls were being fake i think. and all jus cos she scolded him and we tried to cool her down.

and then we had nav, gautam, zul n shang come in. we lost everything we had that year. jgs, ncs, hc. and won nothing back - vj, sr ... it was painful, but in every way, every tournament was a fun experience. and who could forget the volatile relationship between shang & suhas. the incessant bitching so common within the debating circuit? how debaters vilified each other over blogs. the team/club pep talk at some shopping mall near vj (cant rmb) and resolution 2004. about how we will not launch personal attacks agst one another and this was subsequently broken within a week? haha. and yes how we were screwed by smith at least once every 2 weeks. o yes HOW SUHAS & I WERE ALMOST SACKED AS CHAIR AND VICE-CHAIR. haha. over planning of debate camp i think. and the only reason y we werent was cos her car broke down and by the time she came. she was more pissed about the car. haha. i think it was over how we failed to inform them about the happenings. but to tell u the truth i learnt qte a bit under smith, the way things shld b done, and in many ways, it was cos of her tt i managed to deal with many other teacher-mentors subsequently. haha.

and then jgs came. losing the first round wasnt easy, but it hardened us. AND HOW I WAS BACKSTABBED. haha. ok lah. suhas did what he had to do. or thought he had to do. haha. each round proved very nerve-wrecking, it din help tt i always thought i was the weakest link. this was however one of the most fun team i had managed to work with, what with songkran and running around the whole school, refusals to use the ge room on the pretext tt it was going to curse us (teams tt used the ge room have never won nationals). but i do shout a lot. i noe. esp at suhas. haha. o yes, how about the nasi goreng ikan bilis? Or the staying in school till 10? 11? Or our team bonding sessions at the mama shop. and dad and mum coming for so many of the debates, recording them. all the ridiculous things our team did. gosh. haha. i think I have talked enough about the only reason why we won was cos we wanted it very much, yada yada yada. So shan’t go into all of those.

but it was fun. and i recall how it was inter-house debates that got it all started. and in a sense, it was this one time fighting for the house, and subsequently making it an annual affair that provided me with the sense of attachment i had for the house. at least it was a spark and one of the few things that kept it going over the years before i became vicecapt.

i did not write this entry intending it to be a long one, and i still have no idea how writing it all started. perhaps, i was inspired by samjo's really long entry. haha. Have a feeling if i started a blog in sec 1, i wld have bitched rather than to find these incidents funny. u noe what, i think i was damn anal last time. haha. but on hindsight, with these memories flashing back, they're quite funny. interesting. it's weird, how i m typing all these with a smile. haha.

whatever the case is, suhas if you are reading this, here's wishing you - an ex-teammate, chairman, friend and star debater who was yelled at by me so many times (sorry about that) a happy birthday =) good luck with _______. jcdcs i mean. Haha.

wah. and i din study again today. i think i m crazy, with this long post in the middle of cts revision. i hope you din waste ur time reading till this part. o well that means no break this weekend. if you have been studying, i hope you are making better progress than i m.

junyi! posted at 12:12 am.