at this point of time i m really tired, i dont noe y, it is not like i have done a lot of work but what the heck. but maybe it is the damned haze. damn sumatra. damn those hotspots. the haze is back.

anw since 30 minutes ago it was the last day of school (technically since there r no more proper lessons after ytd) i thought it deserves special mention. that 30 minutes was the last minute of the last day of school. though if we count it another way we prolly will go 8 hrs 30 minutes cos we have to mean last minute of the last hr of lessons of the last day of school. ok i m not making sense.

anw nothing much happened since the last entry. except for a teacher who reads through students blogs and calls hope dangerous having serious anger management problems, venting his anger on the microphones and wondering why the mikes were sounding so bad.

and yups i got my plaque award. which is a cause of jubilation really, since i had really wanted it when i first applied but i later convinced myself last week before it was announced and in the midst of being depressed over my prelims results that perhaps i din deserve it and i wont get it. and m now increasingly convinced that perhaps i didnt deserve it and that there r other more deserving applicants who didnt get it. i mean if plaque is meant for a true leader, was there truly a leader in me as i spearheaded and organised events? Have I truly inspired others and made a difference to their lives in college? and in a sense i cant answer these qns myself because it's up to others to decide. in a sense.

at the same time i feel a gross sense of injustice done as certain individuals fail to get their awards and feel kind of bad cos i think dani deserves a plaque too - perhaps more than i do. and that's the problem with these awards, different yardsticks, unclear criteria and too many people getting the same award. the presence of bands while making the inadequate substially more adequate puts the most outstanding in the band on the same level as those inadequate. and i m wishing there's something i could do to help.

perhaps what they can do is to cap the percentage of recipients per cca and besides having teachers nominate they can have students nominate too. that way perhaps it might end up becoming a popularity contest and take up loads of time so i dunno.

i m having very distorted ideas all over the place. so i think perhaps i will write down my thoughts of rj in general after farewell assembly.

i dont mind lessons ending really. but i guess if anything i'm going to miss the people and it also means that a levels is drawing nearer.

and i m freaking out.

junyi! posted at 12:04 am.