a long break once in a while is a good thing. ok who am i kidding, LONG BREAKS are VERY GOOD things. haha. and while you use such opportunities to meet up, to catch a movie and to work out, it also allows you to sit back, ponder and maybe even appreciate the things and people around you. so while walking home and to various places last week, it strucked me that so much around me has changed. the 2 oldest shops near the mrt station has been replaced by branches of big companies, losing the human, neighbourly touch that endears to the people in the neighbourhood; en route to bishan gym - taking a route that i have not used in 3 years, i found the Macs that we spent in before and into 3rd lang lessons (so we could be late) no longer there. the forest that used to be opposite the estate which my house rests in is replaced by rjc. and of course even what's within rjc keeps changing. then there are those you lose contact with, even though they could be really close to you in school. times change, people change, they move on, the world around you keeps moving even if you want it to be at a standstill. perhaps once in a while, we ought to stop and decide what we can continue to hold on to, what we have to keep pace with, what we have to let go.

in the same vein (of change), how much do people change? what forces a person to change? could it be circumstances, time or the people around them? or could it be you that have changed? yet perhaps through it all no one has changed, for it has always been there, it's just that it has always been a blind spot but one day they see the light. haha. i guess sometimes we are all too stubborn to acknowledge our own faults and choose to convince ourselves otherwise. or are just to blind to see how we are wrong. or maybe some have been in relationships clouded with euphemisms. i suppose we all need a reality check once in a while from the people around us, to ensure that communication lines are often kept open so people can tell you in your face. maybe once in a while you should go to someone who hasnt been talking to you and accost him and ask "do you have a problem with me?". (berwin would say yes, you splash water when you wash your face haha.) or if he suddenly stops talking to you, you accost him and assert "i KNOW you have a problem with me. now spill." haha. but seriously i think the hardest is always getting the courage to start such confrontations. which i admit i dont have.

ok just thoughts swimming through my mind these days with all the runs and walks home to avoid crowds and rising transportation fees.

watched the dark knight on friday, which i really liked. and that's saying a lot given that i am not that huge a superhero movie fan. i liked especially how the director tied in human psyche and hope, and even some indirect take on the real world, with all the talk of anarchy and total chaos. it helped too that it was fast paced, which made a really long movie enjoyable (besides the bugging need to piss) and the movie was helmed by great names that translated into fantastic acting. and i know samjo doubts my take on acting, haha but honestly i doubt anyone would discredit heath ledger's psychotic potrayal of the joker. despite the 2 twists, the movie all in all was somewhat predictable and a little unrealistic. but HEY it's a movie, and a superhero movie at that. so yea. haha.

ah it has been a great break. and i think we need more of such breaks. to you know, refresh ourselves from time to time.

junyi! posted at 4:18 pm.

It is not easy when we draw flak for something that we have been working hard for, for something that is, clichedly, the fruits of our labour. but for something as intangible as a performance / show, that's the only way one gets his report card, to know what went wrong and ultimately learn from it. so while the rsm coa hasnt been an overwhelming success, as we had hoped it would have been, it was, to say the very least a huge learning experience, something that i appreciate to be given the chance to do in the army. after all, how often is it for a lowly person in the army to be involved in something like this in a huge way, and not you know be a marshaller or waiter or something like that. haha. ah POWER. ok kidding. although i am sure some would assert i am not. ANW, i do get it, the draggy part, the unfunny parts, and the excessive dialogue that failed to involve the audience more. it's always with the benefit of hindsight that gives you the wisdom to learn from such honest (hopefully) feedback that i had the benefit of receiving. so we can only get better!it's good too that the external guests enjoyed themselves quite a bit. from what we heard. although that's not accurate cos guests tend to filter their remarks. but overall, accurate or not, i think the entire team did a great job. (haha although who am i to say this)

there's something in me that enjoy working on these kind of stuff. i guess it's something that adds colour to your life, in school or in the army, and also becomes something that stretches your limit and constantly surprises you. so yes this time round, while it has been rather tiring and time-consuming and at certain times frustrating and exasperating in dealings with people, it was all in all, something that i enjoyed, although i think i am not suppose to publicise this fact because of the warped human psyche that just because you enjoy something, the utility gained from that enjoyment is enough compensation for your time consumed. so NO days off for you or any other incentives whatsoever! haha.

much drama has happened in recent weeks, and let's just say that while at first it was just irritating, it escalated into something pissyfying, then exasperating and frustrating, then disappointing, and even amusing at times. ok escalated isnt exactly the right word to use since i dont see an increase in emotions here, but you get my point. over time, you think a person would know you well enough to not make a judgement of you over something you said, but you're wrong. you think because someone knows you well enough, he would be honest with you, but you're wrong. and you think you know a person well enough to think the best of him, but you're wrong. and then above all, there are those whom you think you know well enough and would know you well enough, but they choose to judge you without hearing both sides of the story. and that is just. disappointing.

in normal circumstances, if a friend were to bitch to me about a similar situation, i would say, go talk to him about him, and it can only strenthen your relationship with a person. but i guess, it's often easier said than done. perhaps from the onset it has always been a misunderstanding, but it could have been due to my faults to. it could just be a passing phase. or it would stay and we would all pretend. ah the pretense always. the facade always.

oh well. watched red cliff today, which is my first movie in a long time. and i thought it was actually quite good. i mean i do get how people are complaining that it shouldnt be broken into 2 parts, and how certain parts are draggy, but the acting was pretty good and the movie was fast paced enough for me. takeshi was quite funny as zhugeliang and ling chiling was like there for the sex and that's about it. haha. ok wait i am supposed to say just the nice stuff. all in all i quite enjoyed it, especially the fighting and war scenes. and i would definitely catch the 2nd instalment. and i dont actually enjoy war shows ok haha. i guess it's just cos i dig all these ancienty ancienty war shows then the ww2 battle kind they enjoy filming, perhaps out of some kind of nationalistic fervour.

more work next week. sucks.

junyi! posted at 11:19 pm.