holiday now! hurray. dont miss me too much.

junyi! posted at 11:30 am.

so it has been two weeks since i left the service, and i have been indulging and doing some random stuff. Just started writing as i try to earn some pocket money - and it is seriously POCKET money and i am astounded at what ns has done to my writing. I now take too long and the points don't just flow out as easily anymore. which sucks and i think i need to find my mojo back before school starts.

so singapore's facing a recession and i cant find a job either. actually i havent been looking seriously; since something in me tells me to just slow down and slack and have fun; while another part of me is pushing me to find some purpose this break, and to find something to work for. purpose reminds me of avenue q, which was lots of fun, though a little pointless and with random songs about homosexuality, porn and all. nevertheless i enjoyed it and thought the acting was fantastic. after all everyone needs some random fun in their lives. haha.

so there's the recession, and i am wondering why the govt is taking so much time to take some action, to stimulate the economy. more surprisingly the prime minister hasnt been very visible, leaving his finance minister and union chief to lead the charge. not their style really, since i recall in previous financial crisises and the sars crisis the prime minister held a huge press conference every week with the ministers to discuss new policies to help the people and resolve the crisis. this time singapore was slow in reacting, in initiating summits and i wonder if it is because they just werent prepared for it cos they din see it coming.

and i find it funny too how in the middle of all this, the government chooses to talk about governance and how singapore is not ready for a non-chinese prime minister. ironic, given that the govt preaches meritocracy and yet hasnt exactly been practising what it preaches in equal opportunities to all races, to all genders. and i dont really think it is a matter of singaporeans not prepared. the government just isnt setting the right direction. while i accept that given 2 candidates of equal talents, people are going to vote in the one they can identify with, and race could play a part; however if there is truly an outstanding candidate who stands out from his peers and is of pm calibre, why not? the govt belittles its citizens really, thinking of us as racist, unintelligent individuals who need to be mollycoddled into making the right choice. it could be that they lost touch of the ground or are delusional because the day race does not become an issue, there is no basis for grcs.

oh well, just some random thoughts. watched quantam of solace, high school musical and body of lies recently. which are of totally different genre and i thought they were all pretty likable. though not too fantastic. am quite looking forward to the new wave of movies coming up.

on another note, holiday next week! yays.

junyi! posted at 6:24 pm.

In a very warped way, i think i am going to miss national service. Warped because ord has been something that I have looked forward to the past 1 year 10 months, and i had never wanted to be part of the army anyway. and national service is something almost everyone wants to get out of. but it is no surprise i think, to feel the way i do - a sense of happiness, and yet a tinge of sadness, knowing that i will miss the place, my bunk and most of all, the people. while i am glad there's no more marching, singing from point to point, saikang, parades, burnt weekends, restriction of movement, a regimental, restricted life, corporal punishment (honestly now i know how this term came about haha); there is that sense of attachment when you have slept in that place for such a long time, with the same people for such a long time and worked and fought hard with the same bunch of people. while there were many tough moments, while there were time i was filled with hate, dread and even despair, there were also many times that i enjoyed myself and i can safely say i will walk away with pleasant memories of my time at 39sce.

i never thought this day would come but yet again i couldnt imagine myself a soldier 2 years ago either. neither did many of my classmates. and friends. i thought soldiering was never in my dna and dreaded the day when i would have to surrender my pink ic and suffer under the cruel hands of sadistic commanders. but as the day came near, and i realised there was nothing that i could do to get out of all the tough training i convinced myself to follow the most cliched and common of advice i have been getting - to go in with a positive attitude. and so in trying to pyscho myself i went in with 2 goals - to get fit and make more friends. i found out later those 2 arent really difficult when you have sadistic commanders. the link being sadistic commanders make you train hard and then force people who didnt have anything in common to have something common to bitch about - evil commanders and how we would like to kill them and how they suck as leaders. oh how we bitched haha.

it wasnt just keeping fit and making friends though. national service was an important thing - we were defending our country and our presence played a key role in stopping would be aggressors from attacking us. if that's the case i am happy to have played a part and to have contributed. but above all i thought that ns in and of itself has taught me loads. not the really tangible and useful stuff like driving or technical repair bla bla bla but lifeskills perhaps that could have been taught elsewhere but the regimentation and the authoritarian regime an army requires hits home the message harder. there is still that tinge of regret for not having made it to ocs, but my time as a man hasnt taught me nothing about leadership. it made me understand better the idea of "to be a good leader, one must first be a good follower". and having worked as a man with fellow pioneers, my ns experience has opened my eyes to different styles of leadership and made me ask myself what i would do in their positions. it has forced me to learn to be patient, to accept how certain things cannot be changed, which is especially applicable in this country and as i always tell my platoon mates, to suck it up and deal with it. but amidst all, you learn to not lose yourself and stand up for what you truly believe it and fight for your welfare and that of others.

2 years ago, my teachers gave me the advice of making the best out of my 2 years in ns and i am glad i have consistently tried my best and received an affirmation from my bosses and peers, if the transcript is to be of any indication. i can only hope i have made a difference to those around me. and while we are going to meet up from time to time, like yearly gatherings, things arent going to be the same again and i can only hope that our friendships forged can withstand the test of time.

so here it is, another chapter coming to a close. i will probably never forget the activation at the cookhouse, the sitting down staring at the equipment for 16 hours, the standby area at the parade square, the waiting, the "down and hold it there", the half squats, the runs, the parades, the kiwing sessions, the mopp 4, the cs pallets "that we eat for breakfast", the horrible breakfasts (speaking of which), the mph ridden with birdshit; oir duty; and many more; but i will also walk away with the pleasant memories of ord fxn, hosting the rsmcoa and oc coc, drinking at gL, plt cohesions, incessant chattering into the night, stripping kenneth, kboxing, running the one marathon and half marathons, boardgames and the fun and laughter that bravo and platoon 5 brings.

i am experienceing the usual emptiness that comes to me whenever something big comes to an end. it's normal i suppose, and unless you have had a very bad experience, i think everyone will or has experienced a bittersweet ord. but that's life for you, and like everything else, we learn to move on.

whatever the case may be, i think it is going to be exciting, what life brings us next. moving forward, i am looking forward to it with some apprehension, and much excitement.

junyi! posted at 11:16 pm.

so for the first time i watched the us presidential elections results come out live, and with friends to boot, so that's pretty exciting. haha. i suppose it was enlightening as we discussed how the entire electoral system works, and it was to say the very least, rather interesting though somewhat complicating. well i wasnt surprised by the results though, but am quite surprised at the way the public just believes in projections by a news network, albeit a rather reliable one. still, it would have made more sense for an official announcement to be made by officials before all the celebrations and conceding. i suppose though that's the difference between us asians and westernerns - had anyone celebrated based on projections in singapore, it would have been considered presumptous and haolian.

so yes obama won, but i do think he has a really difficult job ahead of him - as if the cleaning up of the iraq and afghanistan wars wasnt bad enough, america and the rest of the world slipped into global recession - and as time noted, he is the first president to be elected since ww2 without peace or prosperity in the country. i dont think he is going to be governing a polarised america though, if the results are of any indication, after all it was much worse in the primaries. but he is going to be governing people who are living in bad times. people who are going to be impatient and wants to see the man they vote in produce results fast. if anything, he ran a good campaign, has charisma, speaks well and memorises well, as seen in the excellent eye contact in his speeches, haha, so one can only hope he doesnt end up as a man who is all talk and no action, or a herbert hoover and is able to live up to his promises. ah promises, the easiest to be made but hardest to keep. well for a start he has consistently been able to surround himself with really brilliant people to make up for his somewhat lack of experience, so i suppose we should just wait and see. it will be fairly clear i think after a year or so, to see what kind of president he is.

it's interesting though, how he has received support from people all over the world. for a long time i havent seen anyone like that, able to garner the support of billions around the world through charisma and speech. is it the perceived ability? and do people around the world even know his ideologies and policies? has race even been a factor in this elections?

oh well, human nature - the way people act, the way people believe in others, and the way people think is always going to be a mystery to us.

so yes i ord in 6 days time. it is exciting, and i never thought that this day would come. i would have loved staying in camp to soak in the nostalgia and have fun with my bunkmates; unfortunately the stupid coc and its rehearsals just ruined all the potential fun we could have in my final days in 39. there's nothing i can do about it, except for the usual rather apt adage of "ll suck thum". haha

6 days. before i officially become unemployed.

junyi! posted at 6:23 pm.