hrm i m in a weird mood now. maybe it's cos most of my class are at class party and i cant go, or maybe it's cos i m sneezing every 5 seconds. or it may be cos of house comm handover this morning.

whatever it is, i shall refrain from blogging over the next 2 weeks i suppose. shldnt b hard since i wld b panicking this time next week haha. and so shant come online much. er exercise self control. studying sucks and i jus hope i will do well this cts2 lah.

anw this morning's hse comm handover, was in many's opinions, a waste of time and rather anti-climax. and i suppose it's not the fault of anyone, but simply cos of the poor timing - smack in the middle of hols, aka cts2 revision, and given no one noes wat to expect of a handover, i guess no one was prepared to speak since no one noes what to say in the first place.

but but but. the j1s were really sweet cos they were like getting us stuff - a cake, some bottle filled with red stuff and pizzas. and they said nice stuff abt us. haha. actually i feel qte bad lah, they gotta spend qte a sum on us. AND we din do much. or anything in the first place. guide them? not really. hrm we shld get them something too.

anw, the handover wasnt exactly useless and tho i din say as much as i normally would, it got me thinking. reflecting as usual. and haha it has put me in a pensive mood again.

but anw, i dunno. so everything is kinda official now. tho after hse party, nothing much has been done, but yea it is the new comm now, the "house councillors". and it means we are out. officially. i suppose it jus seems so weird, like after everything, this so called "handover" has just put a fullstop to all that you have done and can do. it means tt whatever you had wanted to do, you can no longer execute it anymore. so if u want to start regretting, you can from now. you cant go like opps i forgot to do _____ and i want to do ____, nvm still in charge, can. haha.

in many ways, there were many things that I would have liked to do, but it was a good one year with the house comm. i remembered my pitch at the elections - to increase the house spirit, to bring it to greater heights, to win etc etc pretty much the same as the candidates this year, and i think i talked abt working closely with the hse comm to create this identity for the house. the past one year, i learnt a lot, and i had the chance to do loads of things i have never done before. and i nv imagined i had to. in ri, the comm was 30 ppl strong, with sec 2s, 3s who are all so willing to help out. there were so many talents to tap into. but here in rj, with 11 ppl and we all have a thousand and one commitments, you are often left with just 3-4 ppl who can actively contribute to an event / a project. and then u dont really have ur work cut out for u, having to reach out to lots who dont give a damn abt the house, who may not noe anything at all.

being a vcapt in mt was very different from being vcapt in moor. you had to b more hands-on, you truly had to fight for what you believe in, you had to speak up. you dont have the excuse of tradition to follow on. you dont have people who are interested in house affairs and wld willingly speak up for wat they want. you dont have staff members who take an active interest in house, who know anything about the hse system, who know what to do about it. it was different.

but it gave me a lot. and i guess i walk away with just the regret that i cant return just as much. in a sense starting everything anew did give us a lot of room to do crazy stuff, things never tried before and tt's the experience tt i managed to walk away with. but this room to improve meant there were many things i cld have done to make the entire system better. gosh that line seems to make myself sound so noble.

the question is - how many people will leave rj remembering how they fought for the house, remembering house party, and keeping those badges and even remember which house they belong to.

and something in me tells me that there was so much i cld have done, shld have done but didnt. but i guess ultimately what matters is that we are in rj to study, not to be a full time vcapt, hse commer or ihc commer.

so today's supposed to b the last hse comm mtg. officially. and something in liyana's blog struck me that kinda applied for mt as well. we get on together fabulously at meetings tho we dont go out at all. and perhaps it's a big pity that a hse comm we din really get to noe each other better. but i guess handing over doesnt really mean that we stop interacting with each other. just means no more work to stress over.

i think i got tired in the end. but thanks mt hse comm - it was a good yr serving the house. company has been great all the time - we din win but we had fun i suppose. (: so thanks dani - always concerned tt we r overworked haha and thus work very hard herself, lesbo lim who appeared in the papers and makes us laugh and did a good job for calligraphy! =), samjo with all those creative designs, fellow aesthetics dir nash, glenL, psch classmate bel haha, currentclassmate dnetyap, jerry who made ppl run away from him cos he keeps pleading with them to join ihc, james & ajit r.e.d ics. we did it i suppose. created an identity out of nothing when we decided we shant be moor, we shant be tarbet. but shld have this individual identity... haha, it's weird they wont read this anw. and o yar, ms chen too, always laughed at by us. and laughs with us. very hands-on. we shld hv a like dinner/lunch after cts =), no agenda (haha tho sometimes it hardly makes a difference)

and if u r from moor-tarbet and reading this, i do hope whatever it is that you took part in - drama feste, sporting events, talent-time, in whatever little way you have contributed to mt, or whatever we did for u, u liked it, and u enjoyed urself, and is proud to b in mt =)

it isnt exactly a fullstop in ihc since mrseah has asked us to stay on to "advise" the j1s. what kind of role this is i dont really noe, but it means less hands-on i suppose. it's like a minister-mentor haha. but i guess hafta thanks mr seah, always willing to listen and having confidence in me =). he's very very hands-on i must say. and he does work fast, rather effeciently. i guess ihc shld b left for another time, the fact tt there's still some work to be done. haha.

there're so much on my mind, but this will do i guess. so here's a final long entry for this june hols.

inccendio inflammarae

junyi! posted at 5:36 pm.