ok i so should not b here. but i got bored and sick of hydroponics. m studying more than i usually am, so that i suppose is a good thing.

wanted so much to study, like truly revise, but the huge amt of workload just makes everything so difficult. i mean they shld stop teaching new stuff now and like seriously REVISE. how m i going to study last term, the term before and the term before before etc!!!

so yea, i guess it all boils down to practice. everyone is piaing so tt's really frightening. maybe prelims doesnt matter all that much to guys, but then i suppose it's all abt the bearing it will have on you as u take the alevels. it's like how long r u going to keep telling urself tt it's not the a levels, i still have some time, i will get 4As in the end. life isnt tt rosy. unfortunately. soon ur excuses run out, and so i suppose it's time to get working.

i need help in writing about myself. and marketing myself.

in a sense, the next 2 weeks r pretty tight, with all those uni admission talks. i guess my class is convincing me how it will be a waste of time and all. but i dont noe, i guess my aims are lofty, ambitious and all. but it's all about trying isnt it? i mean that window of opportunity doesnt open by itself. i m so going to kill myself if this guy who is so obviously lousier than me in every single thing makes it to say oxford and i dont all because i din bother applying, because i THOUGHT i din deserve it, that i wont get it. i guess it's all about daring to dream? i mean for the past 6 years, it has always been a case of me not daring to do something just cos i thought i dont have wat it takes. it's true i might not have gotten it in the end anw, but i guess i sometimes just hate myself for not trying, for not having the guts to try.

sigh. though it is going to be difficult. i wish i had more talent, wits, intelligence, better cca record etc etc etc. o and money. haha. whatever it takes lah.

i think jc life has changed my perception abt alot of things. i think perhaps it's true that we were really sheltered in sec school. but maybe it's all part of "growing up" what they call growing up anw.

school's boring. lessons r sleep inducing. tho i always talk so i dont sleep. and my class still loves me. i think. when i m quiet at least. haha.

junyi! posted at 10:09 pm.